Wine Glasses & Perfectionists

I was at my sister-in-law's house the other day ago.

It is always fun to go over there because she usually feeds us and any day I don't have to be responsible for dinner is a good day.

Also, my niece and nephew are teenagers who seem to really enjoy entertaining my daughter, so I actually get to engage in adult conversation without interruption!

As a side note, I heard the phrase, "Are you part of this conversation?" frequently as a child.  So, whatever hassle my parents had to endure in raising a nosy little girl has now come full circle.

As I was standing in my sister-in-law's kitchen eating food she provided, having uninterrupted adult conversations, I noticed a set of wine glasses.

They were very pretty, with sparkly glass. The stems had copper wire wound around them with little stones threaded on the copper.

They caught my eye and I said "Hey, Stace, I like your wine glasses."

She looked at me and laughed.

Then I said, "Wait! Did I make those? I think I made those!"

After a bit more laughter she said "Yes you made those for me."

Huh.

After a moment's reflection I noted, "I like my stuff a lot more when I don't know it is mine."

Because perfectionism.

I am a perfectionist in recovery.

Perfectionists are people who have high expectations of themselves (and often others,too) and strive for flawlessness.

I know I don't need to say this but perfectionism is a recipe for disaster.

Perfection is not an option in our topsy-turvy world.  Good enough is a more appropriate mantra.

Perfectionism renders all outcome as lacking, all effort as below standards.

It is a fast way to depression and anxiety, actually.

While I have made vast improvements in having realistic expectations of myself and focusing on good enough, my inner perfectionist does sneak in and start issuing orders.

Seeing the wine glasses for what they really are, rather than through my perfectionist eyes, serves as a good reminder that perfectionism is a distorted way of looking at the world, where nothing is good enough.

When, in reality, everything is good enough.