Mother Effing Chihuahuas

There are a couple of Mother Effing Chihuahuas that live down the street from me.  

I need to pause here for a moment to clarify that I don't think all Chihuahuas are of the Mother Effing variety.  I had a Chihuahua mix and he was a delightful little guy. But the ones down the street are most definitely Mother Effing Chihuahuas. Mother Effing Chihuahuas belong to a lesser class of demons.   

You can determine if the Chihuahua you are interacting with is in fact a Mother Effing Chihuahua if they rush out into the street like a small furry biker gang and pick a fight.  Or in keeping with my original metaphor, they act like hell spawn. I don't know if you have ever been jumped by a Mother Effing Chihuahua biker gang, but I have. Twice.  The first time resulted in spraining the middle knuckle of every finger on my left hand.  I'm a southpaw, so I can't say that was a convenient outcome.

The second time I got jumped was day before yesterday.  A little, black, fluffy, Satan in disguise rushed out at me and Luna, my Great Pyrenes mix.  

Normally this causes something of a kerfuffle while I wrest Luna past as she is bouncing in joy and delight at the sight of another canine.   

But, the day before yesterday, we were testing walking in the snow. I have only lived in a place that frequently snows for a little over a year, and Luna wasn't part of my family last winter, so we needed to do a test run.  I say "we" but really it was for me.  The test was really to see if I can stay upright while walking in snowy conditions, because she clearly had no difficulties.  Luna loves snow. Walking in the snow makes her face light up with joy. Being in the snow is a peak self-actualizing experience for Luna.

Luna

She continued to have no difficulties as I noted with alarm that we were walking on an icy patch.  Icy patches are not good for self-actualizing in measly two-footed mammals. As I was attempting to get somewhere with more traction, a Mother Effing Chihuahua, Mini-Satan (that's his street name), attempted to pick a fight, snarling and growling at Luna and I.  Luna, with four on the floor, kept her footing as she began the joyous bounce of delight.  I promptly landed on my ass.  And for a little extra oomph I had enough momentum to bonk my head too.  

Luckily, my pony tail and the hood on my coat padded my head and middle age has added some extra padding to my booty, so there was no long-term damage.  My ego remained intact, too because no one else appeared to be around besides Mini-Satan.  And honestly, I feel like it is entirely reasonable to have some difficulty around demons, even of a lesser class.  

To her credit, Luna stifled her joyous bounce to sniff inquiringly after my health.   

This was at the beginning of the walk, but I'm no quitter, so after some quiet cursing (On my part, not Luna's. She swears much less than I do), we carried on.  

We went on a walk again today.  I went on a route that is completely lacking in Mother Effing Chihuahuas.  I'm no quitter but I think knowingly tangling with a demon, lesser or no, is living a mite bit too dangerously for me.