A Love Story Through Food

In the last few years, my relationship with food has experienced several ups and downs. Previously, I had no problems. I liked food, it liked me. When I was pregnant with Aden, I couldn't eat anything for three months because I had constant nausea and vomiting as the result of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG, please see http://www.helpher.org/, for details beyond "I puked constantly").  Even water made me sick. I threw up everything. The only thing I could keep down sometimes was Chicken Noodle Soup or Chicken Rice Soup. Hugh spent a lot of time holding my hair and cleaning up. He also spent a lot of time searching for and eventually procuring liquids that I could tolerate (vitamin water: green tea and some other orange thing only). I threw up so much soup I will never eat it again, I feel nauseated going down the soup aisle in the grocery store and I only recently allowed Hugh to eat soup, as long as I don't see or smell it. This was horribly depressing. Once enough medication got into my system I could hold food down but only certain things. So for approximately one month all I ate was tomato soup, 1 dill pickle and tuna sandwiches. Then, without warning the thought of that made me sick so I would switch. This was also depressing but was a vast improvement. Hugh spent a lot of time procuring and fixing the few items I could eat. By the end of the pregnancy I could eat mostly normal as long as I took my medication and didn't over extend myself. I was so happy when Aden was born because I thought I would be able to eat normal. Wrong! Aden proved to be sensitive to the food proteins in my breast milk. So, I had to cut out all allergen producing foods to clear our systems and then add things back gradually. This was also depressing. Again, Hugh spent a lot of time procuring and preparing food that I could eat. I don't remember much but Hugh says there was a lot of crying. I do remember eating a lot of rice and pears. Then, when Aden was almost one, it all went to hell again. This time the culprit was food allergies rather than reproduction. I ate zucchini bread and corn chips on Christmas Eve. That night I stayed up with hives, asthma, stomach cramps and general gastro-intestinal "distress" (if you get what I mean). I had no idea what hit me because last I knew I was only allergic to honey and dairy products. So, I took me to an allergy doctor. Surprise! I am now allergic to corn, zucchini, summer squash, peanuts, honey & dairy. Okay, easy enough to avoid. Who really eats zucchini anyhow? I was a little sad about the loss of peanut butter. But, little did I know! After repeated exposure to certain foods, my allergy list has drastically expanded. This was also depressing. And it really jacks your work day to stay up the night before dealing with an allergic reaction. So, I get me to an allergy doctor again. We retested in 2009 and 2010.  The new and improved food list ended up being quite extensive.  I kinda lost track around 15 different foods.  I read EVERY ingredient on EVERY food label to identify "safe" foods. These allergies have changed depending on my seasonal allergies and what I had been eating too much of.  What has remained the same is that I can't eat anything with corn in it. Including high fructose corn syrup, which is in EVERYTHING. (Go check your cupboard. You will be shocked.) At one point I was not eating any corn products, wheat products, sugar, caffeine, dairy (including butter and eggs, which I always had before), summer squash, zucchini, peas, green beans, soy, carrots, honey, peanuts, walnuts, hazel nuts, almonds, white potatoes, and I can't remember what else.  There might be more but I don't want to get up and dig through my files.  You get the picture anyhow, it was lousy and difficult and depressing.  But not as depressing as it might have been because I learned to adapt and I had my secret weapon. Hugh.  He kept right on procuring and preparing food I can eat.We experimented madly. We have actually come up with some good stuff and found other good stuff on the internet. I really missed bread and he developed a recipe! And other than the obvious difficulties with food over the past few years, the major theme behind this food saga is a love story. No matter what happened, no matter what he needed to do, no matter how awful it was, the man did not waver. This may not seem like a big deal, but every time he leaves the house to scour the town for some strange request, he is demonstrating his commitment to me and willingness to figure out the "worse" part of things so that even if it is not "better" we survive. Apple Butter at 11:15pm? Safeway, open until 12am. Ground buffalo at 9:24 pm? The Marketplace, open until 10Pm. Non-dairy egg substitute for baking? Amazon.com 24/7. No matter what my difficulty is, Hugh has unfailingly stepped up and walked with me.  Which, I think, is the foundation of a lasting relationship.  Yeah, communication is important, and you need to make sure you have time for physical intimacy and time away from the responsibilities of the world and all those things that are endlessly discussed in women's magazines.  But honestly, underneath all those things discussed in all those magazines, I believe the core piece is a deep, positive regard for your partner that leads you to do what needs to be done, whether it is finding apple butter or any other task a long-term relationship throws your way.