Compassion is concern for the misfortunes or struggles of another person or being. It is the act of being non-judgemental and supportive when observing the sufferings of others. Compassion is often directed at the unfortunate; those living in poverty, the homeless, those with physical or mental disabilities, abuse victims, abandoned animals and the like. We direct our compassion to those that seem weak and vulnerable.
But what about you?
How do you treat yourself?
How do you talk to yourself?
Through my work as a therapist, I have come to realize that we are least compassionate to ourselves. Sure, you can have sympathy for the sweet puppy at the shelter or the elderly person hobbling down the grocery store aisle, but really, what about you?
Does that inner voice, the running commentary in your mind, have nice things to say?
Or do you talk down to yourself?
"How could you be so stupid?" "Why don't you ever get anything right?" "Don't even try, you can't do that!" "Everyone else has got it together, I don't know what is wrong with me."
If you wouldn't tell your best friend, your significant other or you child the things you tell yourself, then I can promise you, you are being overly critical of yourself.
Have compassion for yourself. Know that all people fail, sometimes epically so. Know that all people struggle, even if it doesn't look like it on the outside. Know that you deserve compassion as much as anyone else.
Begin to speak kind words to yourself. When you catch yourself being unkind, offer yourself understanding and compassion. Know that learning to speak gently to yourself will take time and begin again.
When you look back at your mistakes, remember the words of Maya Angelou,
"I did the best I could at the time and when I knew
better, I did better."
When you look forward to your challenges, don't forget Christopher Robin's words to Winnie the Pooh
"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
Tell yourself that, as much as you need, as often as you need until you know it to be true. Until you love yourself, until you have compassion for yourself and that voice is silenced.
Click below for further information on One Thousand Voices Blogging for Compassion
A lovely post because I think many of us forget ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rebecca, I hope that this post helps others develop compassion for themselves. We are all deserving.
DeleteOh both of those quotes are something I tell myself daily. Trying to drowned out that judgey mcjudgey pants voice in my head one quote , one posiitive thought at a time.
ReplyDeleteYes, Judgey McJudgey pants is a problem around here as well. I am not a fan of that voice and those quotes are my ammunition against Ms. McJudgey! One positive thought at a time will get us through.
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