Not Perfect, But Better

My family moved into a new home December 31, 2012.  Not a brand new, just built house but a new to us house.  It was actually built in 1975, making it my age.  I think it may be aging better than I am actually.  We love this house.  We waited 7 years for this house and had to over many, many obstacles to get this house.  However, it seems the only thing that was ever upgraded in this house was the carpet and paint.  We have vintage golden rod yellow in two bathrooms and the kitchen and some weird green-blue in another bathroom.  When we moved in the carpet was a pristine, very, very, very light beige.  The walls are also a very, very, very light beige. So, for what ever reasons, the previous owner had seen it fit to install carpet that is impossible for anyone to maintain, other than a obsessive-compulsive person without children or pets.  I have a St. Bernard and a six-year old.  They like dirt.  Heck, I am a gardener, I like dirt.  Most of our carpet is now a light dirt brown color, although parts of it are a dark dirt brown color.  Parts of the carpet that had furniture immediately placed over it remain pristine.  Instead of making me happy, I find it depressing because then I can see EXACTLY how much we have destroyed the carpet in 5 short months (Actually 4 months, 26 days and 20 hours). I am sure the walls would be similar if we could walk on them but luckily we can't, so only certain areas are turning dirt brown and it is easier to keep up with those spots than the wall to wall carpeting.   Let me just say that the flooring situation in this house is far from perfect!  If I had the budget, I would rip it all out and replace it with something very sturdy, in a color that hides dirt (i.e., dirt brown) and was easy to clean.  Buuuuttt, do not currently have a renovation budget.  We have a "what can we figure out that will keep me from losing my mind and doesn't cost a lot of money" budget.  That primarily involved waiting until something shows up at Goodwill, Craigslist or Habitat for Humanity Restore that improves our home and costs less than $50.  If you haven't already done so, I suggest that you check out both, or what ever the equivalent in your area is, because I have found some amazing stuff.  I found a pristine toilet for $15 at Habitat for Humanity Restore.  Good-bye ugly yellow.  Now I am on the hunt for another toilet, tub and 2 sinks.  But, back to my carpet!  The worst area is the stairways.  It is a split level house and the front door opens to the stairs.  Up to the main floor or down to the daylight basement.  Dirty dog and daughter = gross stairs.  I can't afford to make it perfect (hardwood with a durable carpet runner, perhaps?) but I figured I could make it better.  I happened upon brand new hall way runners at Goodwill.  They had 3 of the same pattern that could be pieced together to cover my stairway.  So, that is what we did.  Or mainly, my husband did.  I dictate projects, he does the bulk of the work.  It's a good deal.  And the project turned out good too!  It's not perfect, you can see where we pieced together the rugs and if you look closely you can see the nails we used.  However, it is better.  It hides the dirt, it adds traction (sock on carpeted stairs are dangerous!) and covered up the carpet we ruined. So, I can feel good that we (my husband) made an improvement.  I could be dissatisfied that it isn't "exactly" what I wanted.  But that would be disregarding the progress we made and creating a "fail-fail" situation.  It was a "fail" to have the ugly carpet but the improvement would also be a "fail" because I labeled it "not good enough" because it wasn't "perfect."  So, my attitude would create unhappiness no matter what. Thinking this way in any area soon leads to a "why bother?" attitude.  If you can't achieve perfection, and consider that failure, then everything will be a failure (or almost everything).  This often makes pursuit of perfection crippling.  Humans are motivated to avoid failure and will avoid activities that lead to that outcome.  Then we don't try new activities or new solutions to our situation.  However, there is no absolute when it comes to failure or success, it is all in how you view it.  If you focus on making progress, focus on making the situation better, there is no such thing as failure.  Even if something doesn't work out as expected, you are still learning about the situation and can then approach again, only better informed.  If the stair runner hadn't turned out well, that is not a failure, that is more information on how to improve when I try again.  Well, I am reconsidering, there is a such thing as failure.  Failure comes by not trying.  This brings to mind a quote by the author J.K. Rowling " It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might have well not lived at all, in which case you have failed by default." (Just in case you have been living under a rock for the last decade and a half, she wrote the Harry Potter books).  So, you can try to avoid being unsuccessful at something by doing nothing, and fail by default.  Or you can try something, possibly screw it up and try again.  Eventually, your efforts will lead to better.  And better is better than perfection.

If you would like to read more about this topic, please check out the book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol Dweck.  It is available on amazon.com.